Magdalenas shadow, p.31
Magdalena's Shadow, page 31
“His wife filed for a permanent separation. She’ll take half of everything. With this contract, he could keep you close while he kept himself rich. Your label may be struggling but your image isn’t. With backing and know-how, you and Magdalena are an empire, Coco. You are a very valuable empire.”
“When did you find out about the separation?”
“I didn’t just read tabloids and gossip blogs last night, Coco.”
“Thank you.” Coco looked up at Rob.
“No thanks. Please.”
“He just asked me to go back to Italy with him.”
“Are you going?”
“No.” Coco looked down at her hands where they lay in her lap. “He wants me, not my family. I’ll never leave my children. Besides I would fall into his lifestyle, and that’s not what I want, not when I know I could never trust him.”
“You have always known your own mind. That’s one of the things I admire about you.”
“Well, this makes four times that you have helped me when I needed you.” Coco looked up, a sad smile framing her lips.
“Two,” Rob answered, watching her, “now and in the snow.”
“And at Bev’s party when Bill manhandled me, and when Bebe ran away.”
Rob shook his head, a cloud passing over his face. “Coco, if I had protected you properly three of those four would never have happened.”
Coco didn’t know how to answer. For a moment it had felt like old times, just easy conversation and trust. Now his face was tense again and he was angry, but not at her.
“You take too much on yourself, Rob. Life is for living. I never once asked you to keep me safe.”
“But if I hadn’t left you alone you would never have been manhandled by Bill, or beaten by Blackwell, or nearly sold to Paolo D’Ambrosia. If I had stayed you wouldn’t be alone now with another fatherless child.”
“I like my fatherless children and I like my life. What I don’t like is being treated like a glass ornament to be loved or abandoned or sold on a whim.”
Rob watched her quietly, his face filled with unspoken emotions. After a pause, he looked down at the contract.
“Well, if Paolo will accept a counteroffer, then you will be independent. You’ll have time and money to spend how you like, as well as a knowledgeable man to run the Rodriguez image and label. You’ll be free to model and still have time for your kids. If D’Ambrosia is one thing, he’s a brilliant businessman.” Rob took out his laptop while he avoided meeting her eyes.
The counter offer agreed to Paolo’s terms but on a far more limited basis. Paolo would get a 65% share of La Sangre, as well as Coco as his spokesmodel – but not exclusively – and he would also get the Blackwell building. Coco would retain 35% of the label and keep a say in how it was run, but she wouldn’t need to relocate. Furthermore, Carman and Jack would retain their positions as design leads. Paolo would get all this if he agreed to pay over twice the offered price.
“There is someone I want you to meet.” Coco drew her arm through Rob’s. “Come upstairs and meet James.”
Rob hesitated, drawing gently away, his expression unreadable. “I have to get this to Paolo before I catch my plane tonight. I have to go, Coco. I’m sorry. I wish things were different.”
His answer hurt her. “You can’t be leaving already?”
“I need to get back to Venezuela. My mother is very ill and Mila needs me. This was supposed to be a quick bit of contract work. I had no idea what I was walking into.”
“Who hired you?”
“Cristina D’Ambrosia.” Rob watched Coco’s reaction. “It seemed strange at the time, a wealthy Italian woman calling Venezuela looking for an ex-pat New York lawyer to negotiate a contract. Now I know why she did it. She was very explicit in her request. She asked me to present the offer to you and to explain your rights. She told me to act on your behalf. She said you were a young and naïve model who needed help.”
“I thought she hated me.”
“She was protecting you, Coco. When Paolo married her she was an A-list socialite and heiress to her father’s fashion house – a fashion icon with a label. Sound familiar? Paolo’s played this game before.”
“I judged her so harshly. Poor Cristina.”
“She must have known what Paolo was planning. He said he ran the offer through their corporate lawyers. All she would need to do was intercept it and send it to me, thinking I would help you see how Paolo was using you. She is probably having him tracked, phone calls and all.”
“He said she has spies everywhere. And I always use one of his cellphones to call him. I told him all about you.”
“Well, there’s one mystery solved. Stay safe, okay? Don’t be so trusting.” He moved to go.
“Rob, I have something I have to tell you.”
“I can’t do this, Coco. I’m worn out and I have to go.”
“At least forgive me before you leave. I need that more than anything.”
“Forgive you?” Rob asked, looking both surprised and saddened. “Coco, there is nothing to forgive. Please let go of what happened. All I want, all I have ever wanted for you, is that you live your life on your terms. Be happy, okay?”
There was a hesitation in his movement, a lonely expression of grief in his gaze. He looked like a man who was looking, for the last time, at someone he loved. Quietly he kissed her. A second later he was gone.
Chapter Fifty
Three months passed. Rob didn’t come back and he didn’t call. It seemed that the offer that saved her label from an early death was the final act in her love affair with Robert Jameson Banks. She still loved him and he still didn’t know that James was his son. Coco thought of him while she watched the last of her furniture being packed into a semi to be stored indefinitely. The mover sealed the doors, handing Coco the clipboard for the final signature. Ten feet from where she stood a taxi waited. Coco watched the moving van drive away before she locked the Blackwell building for the last time.
Life is definitely strange, Coco thought, gazing up at the ninth floor, to the ladder she had used to climb down the building on that snowy night when she had followed her mother’s shadow. Coco shook her head before turning toward the taxi that would take her to the hotel she now called home. She had survived the last abandonment – watched Rob walk away one last time – and yet the pain had been minimal. She loved him and always would, but she knew she could survive losing him; now she could go on with a thicker skin to face whatever life threw at her. Rob had left for a third time and she had survived. She was okay.
For the next week Coco, Tia, and the kids lived as New Yorkers: going to shows and museums, eating out every meal. Coco enjoyed the city, something she hadn’t had time to do in the long months at La Sangre. Yet even with such pleasures before her, she felt older than she had felt before Rob’s return. Seeing him and losing him a third time had matured her. She had learned to be wary, to be careful, and to live her life on her terms even when that meant living it on her own.
“I’m hungry, okay?” Bebe yelled, “But no China food,” she added, taking her sister by the hand and pulling her to her feet. “They eat DUCKS!”
Coco laughed but Bebe turned on her in shock.
“Okay, okay, no China food, Bebe,” Coco laughed again, turning to wait for Tia, who appeared in a nice new lavender dress and pearls. “You’re steppin’ out, girl,” Coco teased admiringly.
“Thank you… I think.” Tia smiled while James bounced around her.
Whenever they went out, Coco was admired and watched, yet it no longer bothered her. Even when the paparazzi caught up with them outside a restaurant, she wasn’t fazed. Instead she held James up and told him to wave.
That last week in New York was one of her happiest of her life, but when they boarded the plane on the following Monday she was ready to go.
Ever since Magdalena’s death Coco had planned to make this trip. And now, as James neared his second birthday, it was time. The plane shot down the runway, Bebe and James looked out the window and clapped as the wheels lifted off the tarmac, and the plane headed south toward Argentina.
Chapter Fifty-One
The beach house faced northeast on a bluff overlooking the sea. Everything about it looked as she remembered it, from the tall square windows painted white to the purple flowering wisteria that hung in garlands of vine across the pergola-draped patio. Coco walked around the house with James asleep in her arms. Lights flickered on inside. On the other side of the glass Tia followed the housekeeper through the living room with a sleepy looking Bebe in tow. Coco hadn’t entered the house. She was looking for something, something she remembered but had yet to find. All of her childhood memories of Magdalena’s beach house were hazy and distant except for this one place in the garden. Coco didn’t know why, but she felt that before she entered the house and confronted the many rooms filled with her mother’s things, she had to find the one place where she had felt most at home.
In the distance the waves crashed and seagulls screeched over the high wind. Miramar, Argentina was cold in July – cold and windy and gorgeous. The scent of the winter garden mingled with the ocean winds triggered a memory of the footpath she followed. Turning around the northeastern corner of the house she found what she had been looking for. Hidden behind the house and looking out over the sea sat a turban shaped little summerhouse built in the Turkish style. Coco remembered long afternoons spent on plush pillows below the yellow and cream dome with its round canvas walls. This had been her playhouse, her quiet place, the place where she and Magdalena once had sat together and watched the sea. Stepping onto the blue and white tile floor, Coco unlaced the heavy canvas curtains and stepped inside the yurt. The interior remained unchanged. Curved overstuffed sofas and cushions rested along the walls, meticulously cleaned and cared for by Magdalena’s housekeeper. In the center of the room sat a large circular table with sitting cushions placed at its edge. Over the table hung a Turkish chandelier made of bronze and cut glass. Blue and yellow beads hung in many layers from its six arms.
Everything was exactly as Coco remembered it. The only thing missing was Magdalena. Coco sat on a sofa overlooking the sea while James slept, nestled in his many blankets. Closing her eyes, she let the sound of the sea fill her senses, her mind drifting back to the memory of brown eyes and a soft chiming voice. In that instant Magdalena was with her again in this quiet place, holding her daughter in a love more lasting than the love she had ever given in life. Coco opened her eyes to the coming light and watched the sun lift out of the Atlantic.
July passed into August and no matter how chilly the wind, Coco never missed a chance to rest with James in the summerhouse. Her body and spirit were renewed by the tranquility of the place. Wrapped in blankets they watched the waves crash against the shore while sea birds flew overhead.
Out in the distance, Bebe and Tia walked along the beach, gathering rocks and shells, the wind pulling at their hats and coats. The sun shone high, already sinking west of midday. Coco memorized the solitary beach, her mind drifting from James to Bebe, their upcoming trip to Italy, and how happy she would be when they returned home to Argentina. Never in her life had she felt more at home than she did here. The stillness, the quiet, the natural perfection of the place satisfied every craving, every need she had ever felt for home and peace.
In the distance Bebe and Tia examined a tide pool while another child ran to join them. Bebe seemed to know her as the two girls hugged repeatedly, bouncing hand in hand at the edge of the surf. Coco remembered examining the same tide pools with other neighbor children the way Bebe did now. She thought often of her mother and of her old life, but where grief had been there was now only gratitude. She could see the chain of events that made up her life, the many choices that had brought her to this moment, this quiet place of peace. The chain was stronger now and her memories clear. She held no regrets, only a prayer that someday her family would grow. She wanted to feel the love and friendship she had felt when Rob had still loved her, and yet even with this longing she found contentment with her life and with herself. If life had given her anything it was a strong self-reliance and the ability to move on come what may.
Her attention wandered further down the beach to where Bebe played, hearing her laughter through the crashing surf. A second sound joined the others, the sound of someone in the garden. Looking around she saw only the plants, green and lush in their subtropical winter colors. The rustle came again, followed by the movement of a man in blue jeans and a gray cable knit sweater.
“Rob?” Coco stared in disbelief.
He saw her then, a soft almost shy smile framing his lips. “Hi, Coco.” His voice barely reached her through the heavy wind.
“That’s Mila, isn’t it? She’s down with Bebe….” Coco felt suddenly overcome with emotion, tears rising in her eyes. “You brought Mila! You brought Mila and she’s with Bebe! How did you find us?”
“I tracked down Carmen in Italy, she said you were here.”
“I’m glad. I’m so glad.” She shook her head, reaching out her hand to touch him, to see if he were real. She felt his hand close over hers, warm and strong. She shook her head again, too happy to speak. “I can’t believe you’re here. I thought you were in Venezuela.” Coco blinked back tears, trying to regain her composure.
Rob shrugged, smiling a sad version of his half smile. “I was in Venezuela with my mother. She passed last month.”
“I’m sorry.” Coco looked away to hide her tears, feeling totally unable to meet the soft grief that lingered in his eyes. The first time they had met he had just lost his dad. Now his mother was dead as well.
“She was sick for a long time,” Rob said slowly. “After… you and I parted,” he hesitated, “… I started looking for her. I found her in time – in time to say goodbye. That’s why I had to leave New York so quickly. I got the call that she had collapsed while you were at lunch. I’m sorry for the way I left you so abruptly. It wasn’t what I wanted, but I have never been good with grief. Seeing you again and losing her at the same time was more than I could deal with.”
“I knew you were unhappy. I just thought it was because of me.” Coco smiled sadly, still unable to believe that he was there with her.
James slept on quietly beside her, lost under the blankets, his little body pressed against hers. When he eventually woke, Coco thought, Rob would learn the truth; he would see his own eyes mirrored back at him and he would know that James wasn’t Paolo’s son.
“I’m going to New York at the end of the week,” Rob broke gently into her thoughts. “I wanted to see you before I left.”
“Look how happy the girls are.” Coco shook her head at him. “You can’t separate them so soon.”
Rob smiled, watching the girls before turning his eyes on Coco, her hair blowing around her face. They fell into another long silence.
“Coco,” Rob began slowly, “I….” He paused, collecting his thoughts, the sound of waves crashing in the distance. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, trying to wrap my mind around everything. What happened between us was….” He trailed off in memory. “I’m sorry. If I could take back that night, all my mistakes, I would.”
Coco shook her head. “It doesn’t matter now. I could say that I should have been honest with you, but if I had none of it would have happened… and I’m glad it did.”
“I wish I could look at it like that.” Rob looked surprised. He studied her face, trying to read the placid expression he found there.
“Rob, I just meant that every second with you has been precious to me. I don’t have any regrets except one. I shouldn’t have pushed you out. You have no idea how much I have regretted that.”
“Yes I do. Our regrets are the same. Coco, if I could have one wish it would be to go back to what we had; I miss you and I miss Bebe.” Looking away, he cast his gaze out over the sea. “If I had a second chance, I wouldn’t treat you like a glass ornament. I just want to come home. Wherever you are is home to me, Coco.”
Coco watched him quietly, too shocked to speak.
“I… I can deal with Paolo… in a mature way,” Rob continued after the silence. “I’ll even be polite for your sake and for the baby’s. I know he’s part of your life forever now, I just don’t want to live without you.”
“Rob, you never have to. Don’t go back to New York. Don’t leave again. Stay with me.”
Coco ran her fingers along the line of his jaw, leading him into a kiss. Coco felt his lips touch hers with a gentle passion that built until her lips parted to his. He kissed her like a man thirsting for water after days in the desert, savoring her and the moment with complete rapture. When the kiss ended, his eyes were different, soft in a way she had never seen. Taking his hand in hers she prepared herself to do what was right.
“Rob, there’s something you need to know.” Coco’s fingers brushed Rob’s cheek, bringing his eyes to meet hers. “Rob, Paolo has no claim on me other than through work. I told you not to believe what you read on the internet. James isn’t Paolo’s son.” Rob looked at her with concern. “I tried to find you,” Coco added gently, “I wrote to you when you sold the apartment. I should have tried a long time before that, but I was angry and hurt and stupid.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that you were right. I was still a little girl when you left and I’m so sorry. I should have told you.”
“I don’t understand.” Rob looked both hurt and confused.
“I named James after his father, middle name first. His name is James Robertson Banks. You are his father.”
The look on Rob’s face melted from confusion to anguish. He looked from her to the ocean. “Why… why, Coco? Why didn’t you call me? I would have come back. I had a right to….” but he couldn’t finish.
